backyard crowing



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beginner love

R has applied for a position at CSUN. It's a technology/instructional position.

He says he's interested in it.

He would live in his own place for awhile if he got the job and moved here.

Meanwhile I'm getting closer to Creg. And he's starting to feel more comfortable with me.

He wants me to send over my resume.

I see job opportunities, and I haven't been applying to them.

I'll be on a "focus session" in about thirty minutes. Basically everyone is on a zoom call at once, and we do work together.

It's the season of breakups, and somehow, I still don't know if I'm ready.

I miss him, and I don't.

To think, that I nearly told Creg I loved him. I meant it in that moment. And I think I do love him...but it's beginner love. The feeling of love when you're first getting to know someone.

He has rented a cello for 40 dollars a month. He loves to try new things.

He also spent 3 dollars at the dollar store to experiment with visual art. He bought crayons, glitter glue, and colored pencils. We goofed around on his porch table, and both got depressed from the heat, and my lack of breakup from R.

The three dollars bought terrible art supplies... but that's okay.

Creg is a big fan of spending a little on a hobby, to see if it's for him or not.

Do I not have any ideas of my own? I want to not just talk, think, and write about the opinions of men.

I want to have my own opinions. To talk, think, and write about those.

1:34 pm - Wednesday, Aug. 19, 2020
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