backyard crowing



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watershed moment

I had a realization today.

I have seen L!sa perform before -- on a Wednesday.

I remember it now, and fairly clearly.

This memory was unlocked as I told my google home to play her music --

It was a song called [email protected] L0ve.

Last summer, when I was chasing Ryan and realizing he wasn't one to get involved with, I went to his local watering hole on a Wednesday -- the day local musicians strut their stuff onstage.

Ryan was out of town, so I knew I wouldn't run into him. But I thought I might spot his bandmates.

L!sa was playing, and I was ordering a drink at the far end of the bar, quite a ways away from the stage.

I didn't know her at all at the time.

A gentleman wearing a large cowboy hat and boots began to talk to me, and it started off a conversation about Texas, then morphed into something sexual.

He boasted about the size of his penis, and we got along well. There was joking, a bit of chemistry.

He was there to see L!sa. I am not sure in what capacity -- but my assumption was that it was a date, only because she is objectively beautiful.

Anyway, I remember asking him, "have you ever had a [email protected] l0ve?"

He thought a bit, and said, "no, have you?"

I told him yes, and that it was wonderful. In reference to R, who I was still mourning.

The song ended, and she walked offstage, and to go talk to him.

He said he was sorry he couldn't talk more, and I shrugged -- I wasn't one to continue to interrupt his "date," or whatever it was. He'd talked to me about how he was the bad guy, the one women didn't want to end up with, the one who didn't go over well with parents.

He said he was a bit crazy, and that he saw a therapist.

He talked about our generation, the millennials, and how we will be known as the next Greatest Generation. About how history will look to us, and be very impressed with what we overcame.

All this -- and he looked to me, not to her. It's a strange thing to think, that I would in any universe attract someone over her.

But that's how it goes, doesn't it? A different chicken for every pot.

I was repulsed by him in some ways -- I don't like texans much, especially ones who wear cowboy hats. And at the same time, I was a bit intrigued. It's nice to hit it off with someone.

But I didn't want some ladykiller who hits on other women, either. I did well to avoid him.

And I hope he didn't waste L!sa's time.

I don't think I'll ever tell her about this unlocked memory. It could only cause friction, I think.

That will be a memory just for me.

9:17 pm - Saturday, Jul. 02, 2022
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