backyard crowing


premature we-jaculation! yummy!

i like you, bobby d. :)

“go to sleep bobby d, here’s a kiss. Don’t worry your pretty head about this.”

He’s asleep now, I chatted with him briefly earlier. He asked me out again, and he even said, “we need to go to the slam.” He said WE. I love it when men do that. When I do it, it’s because I don’t know of any other way to say it. I say WE when I’m with a friend, or a boyfriend, or and acquaintance, or an enemy. It’s just a word. Yet when a guy says it and I’m highly romantically tuned in to him, it makes me happy.

I keep listening to “time to pretend” by MGMT. they are my theme song while I write my play. It’s untitled at the moment…

It’s about a college student who decides to run away from it all with a man she falls in love with, a man from the street. So far her name is Iona, and his is Montego. They’re running away to California. I need for him to have a dire need to move to California.

I think three major challenges of this play will be:

-making sure every scene has characters that all want something very specific, very badly

-making sure the main character doesn’t seem whiny or annoying or self-pitying

-making sure her depression and motivation is evident enough to warrant her rather rash/big decision to leave it all behind—we want it to be believable

Aie…I wish he was here now…it would be nice to just cuddle with him. I have such a craving for affection, sometimes it’s just disgusting. And human. And weak? I don’t know, a feminist might call it weak, and I’m a feminist. But being feminist doesn’t mean being lonely, no, I don’t believe that. It simply means you want equal rights for men and women. Not too big a request, really.

I wish I had a brother so I would be accustomed to hugging someone my age of the opposite sex. Just so it was less awkward. Not that I would want to think of any of my dates as my brother, but it might help in calming me down during important initial physical moments.

Never underestimate the need for a cuddle buddy. Never.

Once I was at a job fair thing at Kroger and the lady mentioned, “Yeah, my husband’s been out of town on business the past few days. He’s coming back tonight, I can’t wait, and I’ll finally be able to get a good night’s sleep with him here.”

I didn’t really understand the logic behind that, but I get it now. It has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with love, dependence, emotions, attachment. What she said really confused me at one point—how can a man in your bed help you sleep better?

It’s because we feel we’re protected with them along. Even though we’re pretty sure no boogey men will get us in our own beds, and even if the person holding us is stupid or a jerk, we feel safe anyway, because it’s what we do: curl up in his nook, give him a kiss on the cheek, breathe in, breathe out, purr.

This means I’m tired, it does. G’night!


- monday, Mar. 9, 2009


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