backyard crowing


teapots and riding in beds with boys

i made up a song. i am teh geniuszorz. to the tune of "i'm a little teapot," if you're daft:

i'm a little depressed
short and stout
here's my wellbutrin, here is my pout
when i get all steamed up,
i will shout
tip me over and
kill me now


I think daydreaming has fueled fodder for my next blog entry--this one!

I was thinking about that dude from ages ago, Nate, and how he never let me spend the night. That was when I knew he wanted nothing but a fuck buddy.

I think the conversation was about like this:

N: So, are you about ready to go home?

Me: Go home? Can't I stay the night?

N: Well, I have to work out in the morning.

Me: Couldn't you drop me off in the morning before you work out?

N: Here comes a bullshit answer.

Me: Oh! Okay. (This is a little TOO upbeat and casual. I realize he is just another Marcus.)


If they don't want you to stay in their house, they only wanted you temporarily in their sack...ballsack! Yeah.

Anyway...the point is, if they're into you, they want you around, they'd love to wake up with you! That's why the only night Marcus let me stay was the night he lied and said he wanted to keep me around...cha...around wherever he was not. And when I visited blondie in (GAG ME) San Marcos, he was all, "no cuddling." More proof: Matt #1 wasn't opposed to waking up with me, he INVITED me to stay the night when we hadn't even kissed! It's all so clear.

My equation never, EVER fails.

It's the men who fail.

And like the pink Bible (He's Just not that Into You) says, I feel liberated with the knowledge that these guys don't like me. I can move forward, it's brilliant! I feel alive! Bah! I love it.

...and the kerbey waitress here just called me sweetheart...twice.

Damn...I always forget they're paid in coiny ways to flirt.

- tuesday, feb. 17, 2009


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