backyard crowing
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friendship, cheating, bill collectors
I have a friend from work, Alexan, who once worked as a bill collector. He made phone calls to people to get them to pay up. He happened to mention that he was fairly good at stalking because of the job, and advised the following, in case you needed to find someone:
-zabasearch.com
-spokeo.com
-whitepages
-google
And, worst case scenario, visiting old addresses and claiming it was of "medical importance" he reach them. Can you imagine? Your own neighbor, convinced that you'd die if they didn't give out your info, ratting you out to your debtors?
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Fun fact: today, upon learning that my co-worker David is a SCUBA diver living in San Mar, I -- I forgot to ask him whether he knew Marcus. Go me. No, seriously. GO ME.
In other news, last December 7th, Pearl Harbor Day, I didn't text him a happy birthday. I didn't need to. Why bother?
I'm quite proud of these inactions. I've seen one episode of Gossip Girl, and in it, we see the main character sleeping with her best friend's boyfriend -- a few months earlier. The most memorable part of the episode is the girl saying, very earnestly, "I'm trying to change."
And change I have. I cheated twice on Joe, terrible mistakes, and I let Marcus be reckless with my heart. I have changed, and the changing is a continual process. I'm happy about my progress.
GO! GO! GO!
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"I believe that we are a product of what we are around. I truly believe that." - Kristal
She said this when I mentioned that my boyfriend asked me if I had any friends...you see, I wasn't sure whether I should be offended -- or if I felt like becoming offended. I suppose if I have to think several times about something, that means I'm offended by it.
She said, "I don't know that HE has any friends," and I felt lighter.
We (the boy and I,) work from home, so our social life is pretty limited. He has a close friend in San Mar named Dan, then there's Tobey his roommate and cousin, and of course, Kristal. That may be the long of the shortlist of his friends.
But friendship is how you define it, surely. According to vlogbrothers' latest video: on average, a person has 2-3 people who they consider true, deep friends.
Also of note: The way, in the 50s, to make friends was to to have "repeated unplanned interactions." That can be difficult to achieve, especially if you're working from home.
Thus, Kristal's statement -- we are a product of our surroundings.
I had a similar mantra the insane summer I lost my job, my virginity, and the roof over my head: "Crazy attracts crazy."
It's true.
Because I am on the topic of friendship, and may need some real friendships, I searched Craigslist--woman for woman, strictly platonic. What struck me was that many of these women were newly married. How ironic, that meeting your love and settling down with him can make a woman crave female friendship. Getting married doesn't equate with never feeling alone again, despite what the movies may depict.
I'm not sure a married woman and I would be the closest of friends. Yet I'd like to think true friendship pays no heed to superficial boundaries of life circumstances. It's probably my own self-consciousness on display, there; I would think that my married friend was always right, always so much more mature than I. In truth, though, I have more maturity than Kristal, and she's four years my senior, so what of that? You can get married young, but I think it's harder.
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"The only limit is the one you set yourself."
11:34 pm - Friday, Jan. 25, 2013
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