backyard crowing



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feeling a bit less emo now

i am listening to "Online Songs" by blink, and i've discovered i like it more than i ever have before. "take off your pants and jacket" is not an entirely bad album, as i once thought. it's one of their weaker albums, yes, but it's not so completely horrible as i once thought. perhaps i'm just used to it now, or it's because i haven't listened to it in quite a while.

"Josie, you're my source of most frustration."

i saw the 4:20 showing of "Côte d'Azur: Crustaces et Coquillages" at the Dobie theater today. I don't know where to begin, what a weird flick! Oh, gosh. I'm starting to say "flick" like Adam always did. Um. Anyways, I'm glad I got off of my butt to go see it, though, it was quirky and dysfunctional enough to cheer me up somewhat. It wasn't a musical, but twice the characters suddenly broke into song and dance, which was certainly bizarre and unexpected. The storyline is this: a family of four goes on vacation to Côte d'Azur (where else?) and figures out their sexualities. The husband is infact gay and still in love with a plumber living near their beachouse, the wife is having an affair with some dude who follows the family stealthily on their vacation, the daughter rides off to Portugal with a biker dude for a sexcapade, and the son's best friend and travel buddy is also his "little friend". So, you can see what kind of havoc might occur in such a film.

"We put the FUN in dysfunctional!" - have no idea where that's from, but I heard it somewhere

i found a diary of a gay guy living in Cali, who is an only child. in one area of his site, he interviews himself. here's one question:
16. So do you always get mad when someone disagrees with you?
Every now and then, but I'm working on that. I think it's a character flaw held over from growing up without siblings. I've developed a lot of eccentricities because I'm an only child. I can be a real prick sometimes. You'll get over it.
i wonder if i have that character flaw, too--i'm pretty sure i do. it makes sense.
also, on cold weather:
some of my best memories are from Adak. That's where I got my lifelong love for snow and cold and cloudy weather. Even at that age, I knew that Adak Island was relatively isolated. I felt a connection to that, somehow. I'm an only child, and in Alaska, both of my parents were working all the time.

later, at 3:51 pm on the same day...

Dream #1 I had last night:

It's nighttime. I am running away from Dad, who is a vampire on the loose. I have many brothers and sisters, and we and many other people are running away from him. He keeps killing people. I am this weird fairy-nymph thing of the forest--I'm not one inch tall like tinkerbell or anything, I'm just known as a this fairy thing of the woods. I think maybe my brothers and sisters are also strange mutations of humans as well, although I can't remember. So all of the people (my siblings and the others) are running throughout this huge house, trying to escape Dad. I think it a better idea to go outside the house and into the woods to find a hiding place in nature, so that's where I go. I make sure that no one else knows where I went so that if Dad comes looking for me and threatens other people with their life (i.e. "Tell me where Janeane is or I'll kill you) they won't know where I am. Then most of the people start hiding outside, too, and Dad stops killing people for some reason. Somebody asks where I am, and a couple of people agree that it would be nice to be able to squeeze my breasts! Wow. I am so excited at this that I do it myself, hiding not far from where they are. I wonder if I did it in my sleep, and if Cristy saw me. Ugh. Anyways not long after that they find me and ask me why I didn't come out. I tell Dad I thought he would kill me, and he hugs me and says "Of course not, you're my daughter!" I looked up a bunch of stuff in the dream dictionary:

Woods

To see the woods in your dream, represents life, fertility, rejuvenation, and spring. Alternatively, it symbolizes the unknown and unconscious. You may be discovering your instinctual nature. To dream that you are walking through the woods, signifies your return to an aspect of yourself that is innocent and spiritual.

Forest To dream that you are in or walking through the forest, signifies a transitional phase. You may be following your instincts. To dream that you are lost in a forest, signifies that you are searching through your unconscious for a better understanding of yourself.

Vampire To see a vampire in your dream, symbolizes seduction and sensuality, as well as fear and death. The vampire represents contrasting images of civilized nobility and aggression/ferocity. It may depict someone in your waking life whose charm may ultimately prove harmful. Deep down inside you know that this person is bad for you, yet you are still drawn to it. Vampires also sometimes relate to decisions about sex and losing your virginity. Alternatively, to see a vampire suggests that you are feeling physically or emotionally drained. The vampire may also be symbolic for someone who is addicted to drugs or someone in an obsessive relationship.

Fairy To see a fairy in your dream, signifies joy and happiness in your surroundings. It may also represent a feminine qualities and aspects of yourself.

Nymph To see nymphs in your dream, denotes that passionate desires will be joyously realized.

Green Green signifies a positive change, good health, growth, healing, hope, vigor, vitality, peace, and serenity. Green is also symbolic of your strive to gain recognition and establish your independence. Money, wealth and jealousy are often associated with this color. Dark green indicates materialism, cheating, deceit, and/or difficulties with sharing. You need to balance between your masculine and feminine attributes

Dream #2 I had last night:

This dream is set on 9/11. There are three characters (well, four if you count the police officer, but he's minor) and I relate to/embody two of them. There are three women who are trying to escape the World Trade Center, but instead of the lobby being just a lobby, it is a department store, the area where china is sold, to be exact. One of the three women has looted a small telescope, and the other two take pretty plates, and some cute salad bowls shaped like heads of lettuce. One of the two ladies taking china grabs a cube thing saying to the other, "I have no idea what this is, but whatever, it's free so I'll take it!" The other china-stealing lady tells her it's a candle. Anyhow, a police officer sees that lady with the telescope and shoots her - I forgot where, but somewhere on her body that wouldn't kill her, just cause her a lot of pain. Then he rounds on the lady who took the candle, and starts threatening her, so she quickly puts the candle back on a table not wanting to be shot. The three women make it out of the building alive, but they hold onto their treasures, and the telescope lady still somehow holds the telescope, I'm not sure how she got out with it. The odd thing is that the women sit outside the WTC, not doing anything, and not running away. They just sit there, on top of some of the rubble, silently, while everyone else flees around them. Then a particularly huge piece of burning rubble starts to fall toward them from the sky, and before I can see whether or not they survive, I wake up.

911 The appearance of this number in your dream suggests that you need to not be afraid to ask for help. There is an important lesson to be learned from in your dream.

Dishes To see dishes in your dream, represents ideas, concepts, and attitudes. To see shelves of polished dishes, suggests that you are doing your best and making the best out of a situation. You are trying to make a good impression.

Plates To see a plate in your dream, indicates your social advantages and a hunger for life. To see an empty plate in your dream, indicates that there is an emotional void in your waking life. You may be feeling left out. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to rethink your priorities.

Bowl To see a bowl in your dream, symbolizes the womb and sense of security. Consider the condition of the bowl and how it is treated or handled in the dream. This may offer clues as to how you feel you are being treated in a particular relationship.

Lettuce To see lettuce growing in your dream, signifies that you will finally have a moment of pure bliss and pleasure. To dream that you are eating lettuce, signifies that jealousy will cause a major rift between you and your lover or friends. To dream that you are planting lettuce, forewarns that you will be the cause of your own illness and premature death. To dream that you are buying a head of lettuce, signifies that you will experience a downfall that will be your own doing.

Candle If you see an unlit candle, then it represents your feelings or rejection or disappointments. You are not utilizing your fullest potential.

Telescope To see a telescope in your dream, suggests that you need to take a closer look at some situation. It may also indicate that you are going through a period of uncertain changes.

Police To see the police in your dream, indicates some failure to perform or to honor obligations and commitments. The police also symbolize structure, rules, and control. A more direct interpretation of seeing the police in your dream forewarns that you should avoid reckless behavior.

Dream #3 I had last night:

This dream was the briefest dream of the three, and oddly enough I remember the least about it considering it was the last dream I had. Basically Mom, K & L, their mom, and I are at the mall buying makeup. K & L and their mother are in line ahead of us, making their purchase, and we are standing behind them trying on different lipsticks. That is the dream, there's no more to it (that I can remember, anyhow).

Mall To dream that you are at the mall, represents your attempts in making a favorable impression on someone. The mall is also symbolic of materialism and the need to keep up with the trends, fads, and/or the latest technology.

Makeup To dream that you are applying make-up, signifies that you are trying to cover up or conceal a hidden aspect of yourself. Alternatively, it may signify that you are putting on your best face forward. You are trying to enhance your self-image and increase your sense of self-confidence. To dream that you are wearing too much make-up, indicates that you are putting more emphasis on beauty and outside appearances rather than what is inside.

Lipstick To buy, see, or wear lipstick in your dream, suggests that you are not entirely truthful about something.

2:53 a.m. - 2005-11-12
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