backyard crowing



how is she ever going to understand? how is she ever going to forgive me? god i'm so sick of this stress, this university, this life. i'm so fucking depressed and i just want to dissapear. i just want to go away already, to hell or france. make a waitress out of me, because at my roots, it seems that's all i'll ever be good at.

i'm so tired of ever keeping on like this.

everyone in my life is doing the right things for them, and for me. it is all my fault. myself is all i can blame.
something i said in a chatroom, and someone got a kick out of it:

you may be laughing out loud, but i am not
wow my roommate is so cool. she just totally offended me, and then i told her off in a nice manner, and now she's okay again. hooray.
aie, david.

8 months, 11 days.

How much longer will it take?

Il a un rendez-vous, s'il est ma interesse, il PEUT frapper sur ma porte. Ouah.

I keep hoping something impossible will happen. Like he'll come back in and sweep me off my feet. Surprise the hell out of me, tell me there was no girl, he was just making it up. That he lied.

But men don't tend to lie about these things, and I wouldn't want a liar, anyway. What is it about him? Am I putting him up on a pedestal? I was so happy to see him tonight. And then I learned about this upcoming date. Shattered, but life went on. I congratulated him, and the rest of the evening went swimmingly. During our studying he said to me, "This is fun." I said, "Yes, yes it is." I didn't say it sarcastically, but now I'm wondering if I should, no need to be lame.

"Look at that baller in the back, spooning food into his mouth. Damn, he's a sexy beast."

Can an E and an I work? I'll probably never know. Not with him, at least.

I miss you, you who I have never had.

Your #1 Match: INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

Your #2 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

Your #3 Match: INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #4 Match: INTP

The Thinker

You are analytical and logical - and on a quest to learn everything you can.
Smart and complex, you always love a new intellectual challenge.
Your biggest pet peeve is people who slow you down with trivial chit chat.
A quiet maverick, you tend to ignore rules and authority whenever you feel like it.

You would make an excellent mathematician, programmer, or professor.

Your #5 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

What's Your Personality Type?

- Tuesday, May. 09, 2006


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