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father's day

today is father's day, and also krista and lisa (my longtime friends) birthday. they left for canada with their mother today, i hope they have lots of fun. today is also juneteenth, the day that slaves in texas were told that they were free.

the morning did not start off well, it consisted of my mom and i fighting. she got especially pissed, but maybe she's taking me a little more seriously now. maybe.

the good news is that by the end of the day we were cool again and talked for quite a while about random stuff, charles dickens, my paternal grandparents' weird investments (beanie babies and bubble gum machines, don't ask), and yard fannies (again, don't ask).

i'm still ill at ease, and after i left mom's house to go to dad's for lunch i had to pull over at a random mcdonald's in between to cry. it was an interesting father's day meal, but a bit uncomfortable, as quiet as i was. i don't know if dad told them i had thought seriously about up and running away, but grandma seemed to sense that i wasn't feeling too emotionally well. before i drove off, she says, "say 'hi' to your mom for me!" i wasn't going to say anything to mom about that comment, but since we brought up grandparents in the conversation, i told her what grandma had said. as i expected, she didn't think anything of it. "she can say what she wants" was her general response. i learned that early after the divorce she would even send birthday and christmas cards to my mother, which strikes me as odd. and apparently said birthday cards were all the "well, you're getting old" joke type that focuses more on the receiver as the joke's punchline than any real compliment. so she thinks that was grandma's way of being passive aggressive. now i doubt she ever sends mom a Christmas card anymore, let alone a birthday card.

- Sunday, Jun. 18, 2006


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