backyard crowing
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are you in your lingerie?
i had a dream last night that i lived with nate in an apartment much like this one, only it had nice little lamps to light you favorably when you made love. i turned these lights on while nate was watching tv and he called out, "are you in your lingerie?" i wasn't yet, so i put it on and then called back to let him know. "great, i'll be there in a second," he said.
i then grew a tad impatient and thought i'd just take everything off, as he might like that even better. "i'm in nothing!" i yelled out to him, and then he said simply, "i love you."
i laughed at this, for i knew deep down he didn't mean it. i was in shock that he would say such a thing. then he didn't come to me for a long while, so i became worried and awoke.
the dream surely has something to do with my distrust of men, vague promiscuity and expectation of friction in a relationship. maybe one of these men in my life will have a larger role soon. i hope so. i'm tired of make out after make out with no real meaning to any of it. i'm sick of going on dates, i need a man who's not my father to really and truly love me, to show me that it can be done.
oi, if this isn't emo, i don't know what is!
- tuesday, June 24, 2008
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