backyard crowing


joyeux noel complique

Hello, diary!

The internet says that writing in you is beneficial to my health, so I'm gonna take that advice to heart.

I've updated my linkedin, although not completely.

I will finish updating my resume soon.

My mom called me day before yesterday crying on her message, saying she wants to help me get home for the holidays. I'm concerned about my grandfather's health now, worried that he's not okay, and that this is why she's wanting to fly me back to TX.

The thing is, I'm here now. I live here in CA.

She's probably freaked out, and I wish she would just let go.

Here's the thing: I have this nest egg, and it's dwindling. I can't keep vacationing and taking time off. Even if she pays my way to TX, that's money she's spending that resides best in her wallet, in case anything in CA goes awry.

She has already said that if something isn't working out well, to call her. She may be able to help me with a car, extra money for the nest egg, that kind of thing. She wants to help.

And I really, REALLY appreciate it! But I don't want her spending her money on something like a vacation or a holiday. I'd love to see her, and to see Ray, but what good would it do to take 1-2 weeks off, unpaid, AND pay for a plane ticket?

Even if she paid the plane ticket, that's still money that could be used for something else.

If my grandfather is dying, I'll come home.

But otherwise, I think doing so is unwise.

And THIS is why children of divorce hate Christmas. It's because the season is so damn complicated.

(I don't even like Christmas music. I am a grinchy son of a bitch this time of year.)

And you better believe that if I end up in TX for Christmas, my dad is then going to try to insist on me visiting him in MO, too.

I'm lucky to have my parents, and I wish they'd just leave me alone.

Really hoping my grandfather isn't dying.

2:39 pm - Thursday, Nov. 30, 2017


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