backyard crowing


how to lose respect for a guy in 14 days

The news today is that Nick keeps texting me.

I broke up with him 2 weeks ago.

I only respond when the texts aren't sexual.

Today he started with non-sexual stuff, that then turned into,

"What are you up to tonight?"

I told him chilling at home.

He proceeded to not ask me out -- which is fine -- because I dumped him.

Then later he mentions he went "on a smoke date with a russian lass."

And then says he's been on grindr, and then a few sexual things like how he enjoys texting people naughty stuff, and details about it.

He really is a strange dude.

I think for me, it's that he mentioned going on a date. I think he kept talking to me because he wanted to wait until he'd had a date, so he could tell me about it.

Dudes are so immature that they need to make it seem like they're dumping you, and not the other way around.

It's super sad.

I think that of all the things he's done that are embarrassing to a human being, this one is the lowest. I've really lost respect for him at this point.

Because it's not like we didn't have something nice. He just wasn't the right guy.

But I'm not out here rubbing it in his face when I go on a date.

I hit on a guy at a bar the other day and we exchanged instagram usernames. That didn't necessarily turn into anything, but that's fine.

After I broke up with Nick, I ended up sleeping with John. Again. I'd slept with John once while I dated Nick.

Tomorrow I'm cuddling with Morgan.

And I have at least one other crush from one of my meetup groups.


Up until now, I hadn't blocked Nick on his google chat number because on some level I appreciated the attention. I didn't respond to the sexual stuff, but I did enjoy occasionally talking about platonic topics. He isn't a bad guy to talk to.

And I didn't reach out to him, either. He was always the instigator.

I wish men could handle rejection better. Not try and backstab.

There is some part of me that, in case I have herpes, wants to keep him in my life in some weird way.

Because I suppose if I have it, then having him as a fuck buddy doesn't hurt.

But that's the thing, isn't it? He could trap me with this. I wonder if he's done that with other women. Or if they just never caught the virus. Or if they already had it when they met him.

I have to wonder if he was as pushy with them as he was with me.

10:20 pm - Wednesday, Apr. 13, 2022


lovesounds - futuresex


about me