backyard crowing



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ying-yang

It bothers me how cowardly people are about breaking up with their significant others, and I think perhaps it's because I know how and when my mom told my dad she was divorcing him.

I'm not at a loss for "whys," either.

But anyway, I now know two people (best friend Abbie and my ex, Patch) who simply will not break up with anyone.

Abbie's reasoning is this:

If she leaves him and regrets it, she might never be able to get him back again. And if he was the "best she had ever had," then she would be settling for less in every relationship thereafter.

Patch's reasoning is that he's just too scared. So in other words, if I hadn't ended it with him, we would have been together forever, horror of horrors. (I didn't even like kissing the guy.)

And then there's Adam Datingsiteboy, who couldn't just say, "look, I don't like you anymore, let's NOT meet." He used to say he was all over the truth. Yeah...just as long as it wasn't coming from his mouth.

I know it's difficult as hell to tell someone you aren't into them, but it's so necessary for both parties that you do the dirty work. Even if it's just a phone call, that's better than the dumpee not knowing what's up, and leading them on in vain.

If you stay with your "significant" other because you don't know how to break up with them...that's just lame. Everyone gets rejected, and even really self-centered people know this. Stay stuck and no one wins.

Of course, in abusive relationships you've got to ignore the traditional rules and get the hell out.

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We all want happiness, right?

Well, yeah.

I think life goes through phases of "mostly happy" and "mostly sad." I find it rare to ever be completely happy or completely sad.

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I've also been thinking about romance vs. sex, a.k.a. women vs. men.

It seems to me that this is a "Ying and Yang" situation, as well.

Most women enjoy sex, at least to some extent if not intensely. So it figures that most men can't be wholly opposed to romance...

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And this, from rizzn:

"I sleep more and more everyday to avoid being awake. Being awake reminds me of my situation and my dashed dreams."

Finally, something that I've been feeling but wasn't quite sure how to express. I am not alone in this love of sleep for purposes of not thinking about my life, apparently...I'm glad for this realization.

I've heard that depressed people sleep a lot. Unconsciousness...is like a drug, an escape. Only you wake up refreshed, which makes focusing on your rough reality more vivid.

I think I just said the same thing three times in a row in the last three paragraphs. :o

I might be about to fail all three of my classes next semester...and I threw up this morning while in the shower. I don't know if it's stress, my high caffeine intake in the past 30 hours, or some illness. At any rate, I don't feel so hot right now...sorry for the blah post.

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Sometimes looking at maps makes me feel alive.

Here's a beautiful one of the earth at night...

http://www.cojoweb.com/earthlights.html

8:12 am - Monday, Dec. 17, 2007
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