backyard crowing


negative on the NBT

listening to: "In Your Eyes", by Peter Gabriel

I never get tired of this song, I don't know why. Maybe because it's the theme song for Say Anything, which always reminds me of Jimmy.

I'm in no mood to mourn tonight though, nor pine for a guy I will never have.
Should I keep saying this to myself, that we will never be a thing?
Yes. He is my cousin, for goodness sake. I'm usually not so ridiculously preoccupied with anyone. I guess it's the "absence makes the heart grow fonder" thing. I hardly know this boy, yet I felt sure he was my soulmate at age 16. I've never felt like that since. I don't want to be hung up on a guy. I need to focus on the now, and the now is maintaining a 2.0 GPA. I've only seen this person three times in my life. THREE TIMES. What is wrong with me?

I remember on the way to the reunion last summer my mom told me he would be there. I had hard time not smiling, but I managed it. He was the only reason to go in the first place! Rarely is my mom so clueless, but I wasn't about to enlighten her. She does well enough enlightening herself most of the time, but of course there are times when she completely has the wrong idea.

I taped Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back today, but I've only seen the last part. Maybe tommorow I'll get to watch it.

I am incredibly tired.
I saw NBT (Never Been Thawed) in Dobie today. More on that later -- DON'T SEE IT if you possibly can. Or as my dad would say, "avoid it at all costs".

11:28 am
what an ass I am. I missed french conversation today, the lesson after my instructor wrote me a note to turn into my department head, saying I was a "great student" and had definitely attended since September. um. i'm hoping she doesn't hate me too much, and gives me credit.

1:11 a.m. - 2005-11-17


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