backyard crowing



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summer in hawaii?! i hope so!!!

i can't help but wonder sometimes what it might be like if i showed someone my entire diary. i think it would be freeing and terrifying at the same time. i don't know if i could look them in the eye, or what they would say.
mine is not a funny journal, or one that i care little about. its purpose is not to make people laugh or to please, but to serve as an outlet for all the thoughts that bounce around in my head all day when i'm not talking. it is a way i can better understand myself, not to be better understood. although i do think if someone else were to read all my entries they would get a fairly good idea of me, and of who i am, even if it wasn't a pretty picture. i've exposed myself all over these pages, and sometimes i just want someone who isn't anonymous to see it...but good grief. now mom knows i have a blog with diaryland.com. what now? she knows. she KNOWS.

so what's the story?

she was looking at the purchases i made with my handy dandy check card (eek.)
aaaaand...i've spent forty bucks on itunes. easy to do when each song is a buck! okay, i think i'll be spending more time on soulseek. i don't want to get songs illegally though, i guess because i wrote a paper on it my freshman year. but hey, ipods are expensive enough. not that the artists get any money from apple, except maybe u2 or the gorillaz. i don't think she'll be able to figure out where my diary is. okay. this is fine.

i haven't seen david today, i wonder if i will tommorow.
i did get a second opinion though, with mom. she encouraged me to pursue him, so i think that's what i'll do. i like the boy, why not?

and i have great (potentially!) news on the summer front. i might (emphasis on MIGHT) go to hawaii next summer and spend two months (that would be july and august) working for my aunt, who owns a house cleaning business there. she's talking ten to fifteen bucks an hour! wow, i really hope this happens. i would live with her in her apartment, and it would probably mean six days of work a week, and a twelve hour workday. she busts her buns. it does depend on the price of the ticket, which is looking like eight hundred dollars. plus i must think about taxes, if i claim that i worked for a small business then i might have to give up 48% or something crazy like that right back to the government. mom is of course extremely leery of this whole situation, she didn't want to tell me about it, but she told my aunt she would. AND i was thinking about taking a course or two this summer at a community college. i also need to think about food in hawaii, because everything costs more in hawaii. i would love to go though, and i haven't seen my aunt since she moved to the island, which was when i was in oh, jr. high? an eternity, i know.

8 weeks
10 hours a day x at least 10 bucks an hour = 100 dollars per day

mmm we'll see. wonder if there'll be anyone to miss come summer.

1:46 a.m. - 2006-02-22
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