backyard crowing


i'm nuts

"I like you."


You don't, that's how. Ugh. He's a cool guy, and so much more attractive than I remembered.

Maybe it's the cyber sex. I mean...he really turned me on. I almost can't even look at him, but I manage. Why? How can I look at this man? He's not what I expected to want to kiss so badly.

But you know what? I don't think he cares about me. Just the way he listens makes me think that he doesn't really care. I still want him though, for both emotional and sexual purposes. I think we could be good for each other, and with each other...

He's the youngest of three, and he lives with his eldest brother. The middle child he doesn't get along with.

I said to myself that when I saw him, I would kiss him--and more. I don't know why I didn't...but he's a bit overrated...and underrated...and I do know why we didn't do anything's because we don't really know each other. I wish we did. I wish we knew each other really, really well...


I want to make out with him. Badly.

i typed this in a textbox and thought about sending it to him, but i would never do that:

i don't know what to type. i must admit, i like you now. i know i can't say so though, because you would think i was messing with your feelings. i've turned you down twice, essentially...i had forgotten how nice you were in person.

also text i never typed to him:

what if i told you i was stupid to turn you down twice and ask to get to know you better? would you think i was insane and indecisive, and therefore not a good girl to date?

he has no idea how much i wanted to just rest my head on his shoulder during the movie.

i don't think he would be playing hard to get, because guys don't really do that. it's driving me nuts. i'm pretty sure at this point that he isn't interested in me (for once), and now i fear there's nothing i can do to change that.

i want him more than ever now.


I Think

"I think I can fit you in somewhere,"
She says, and checks her schedule
He stumbles: curiosity
She glances: impossibility

"I think I have time,"
She glimpses her watch
He sparks: opportunity
She bristles: incompatibility

"I think I might want to,"
She examines her fingernails
He half smiles: desirability
She eyebrow raises: overexcitability

"I think I should,"
She widens her eyes
He falters: responsibility
She stops: slavery


marcus: Ah, finally off
me: woot
me: yeesh, at 2:40 am?
marcus: Yes
me: just a sec
marcus: Okie dokie
me: AAH! okay, 5 mins.
marcus: Okie dokie dokie
marcus: Day
me: back!
marcus: Yay!
me: so tommorow is sunday!
marcus: And I'm home too!
me: sweet
marcus: Yes!
marcus: No work!
me: woooooot
marcus: All play!
me: wooooooot
marcus: And possibly a paper and some studying
me: i made a list today of all the things i need to do this week. it is enormous and terrifying
me: and i'm quitting the travesty
me: they had pot at the party.....and i know that i could work for the travesty and not be exposed to the pot by simply not attending their parties/attending parties that are during the day, but
me: i really feel that i don't have time to help them out and ensure that i get my gpa up
me: anyways, how are you?
me: off work, that's always good
marcus: I'm good
marcus: Kinda wanting my roomate to go to sleep so I can watch anime
marcus: Or whatever I have on my tivo
me: is it loud/bright
me: tivo is ovit backwards
marcus: Yes
marcus: Is what loud/bright?
me: THAT'S awesome
me: anime
me: shunnnnn
me: you have separate rooms, no?
marcus: Yes, but the computer where the anime is hooked up to the big tv
marcus: And so is the tv
me: oic
me: :-)
marcus: Roomate: you work tomarrow?Me: Hell, no!
me: oic always sounds so hoity toity in chatrooms
me: hahahah!
me: did he laugh?
me: do your friends that smoke pot usuakky do it while hanging outwith you
marcus: Not really
marcus: Like I said, I only hung out with them once
me: at their place, i rememmber that
marcus: Yup
me: you said last night was crazy, how was it
me: (crazy)
me: hha
marcus: At 12o'clock
marcus: The creditcard system died
marcus: All of it
me: oh no
marcus: So we couldn't use ANY credit or debit cards
me: and i highly doubt you accept checks
me: that's no fun
marcus: One of my lanes was getting really pissy
marcus: So my manager let them leave
me: hah!
me: nice
marcus: They had $367 tab
me: WOW
me: no way
marcus: I got nothing
me: how can you rack up that kind of money when it's only bowling and food? is there something i'm not taking into consideration? how many people were on that lane?
me: ugh
me: are they not allowed back again?
marcus: The games cost 5.50 each per person per game
marcus: They bowled like 19 games
me: wow
marcus: $4 for shoes
me: crazy
me: who bowls 19 games? is this "normal" bowling alley behavior?
marcus: Well there were 6 people
me: is that an avg. number of players?
me: or small or large?
me: sorry to hear they didn't tip you
me: that's really frustrating
me: or as some annoying people say, "fustrating"
me: *hug*
marcus: *hughug*
me: you need a hug
marcus: I'm watching scrubs
me: cool
me: i've seen it advertised, looks really funny
me: and zach braff is pretty awesome
marcus: Yes, yes he is
me: he's in a new movie but i forgot what it's called
me: the last kiss
marcus: The Last Kiss
me: bah!
me: beat you
me: nanny nanny boo boo
me: but you get honorary mention for capitalization
me: :-D
me: *nibble*
marcus: Teehee, teehee
me: somehow i can't picture you saying "teehee", but i enjoy the thought
marcus: You know
me: i do
marcus: Neither can i
me: you're such a poser, marcus
me: :-P
marcus: Yes ma'am
me: *snuggle*
marcus: Woohoo! XD
me: hehehe!
me: ah, this is fun
me: random 3 am chats
me: they're 4 teh_win!
me: marcus?
me: *sniff*
me: okay while you do that im going to wash my face
me: :-)
me: brb
marcus: Sorry, I'm watching the anime now
me: oh
me: boo
me: do you still want to do something tommorow?
me: maybe coffee?
marcus: Maybe coffee, maybe lunch
marcus: Maybe a movie
me: okay cool
me: any of those sound good
marcus: Maybe movie AND lunch? (Drafthouse)
me: one question though, could you give me a ride?
me: yeah, sounds like fun
marcus: Oh, yeah, no doubt
me: do you have any movies you'd like to see?
me: i don't really know what's out
marcus: Well, Jackass isn't one to watch while eating...
me: or for me to watch ever...
me: and you've already seen it, no?
marcus: Yes
marcus: Saw it opening night
me: so i am looking and there seem to be four different drafthouses
marcus: Yes
marcus: There's one near campus, one near cedar park
marcus: And two more somewhere else
marcus: Which is about as vague as it gets
me: cool
me: where do you live again?
marcus: near pflugerville
me: wow, so that's a ways
me: isn't it?
marcus: Not really
me: i don't know these things not driving
marcus: About 15 from campus
me: ah, so not too bad
me: good
marcus: Oh GLORIOUS A/C!!
me: did it just start working?
marcus: No, we got it fixed thursday or friday
me: wow air conditioning is so amazing, especially if you go without it for very long
marcus: Yes
marcus: Hurricane Rita wasn't so bad
me: not for you, anyway
me: nor i
marcus: Yeah
me: weren't you wishing it would ruin part of your house or sthg?
me: my parents evacuated though
me: my dad to visit me in austin
marcus: Not really
me: and my mom tried to evacuate
me: it was a dissapointing hurricane, ha
me: actually i was really worried
marcus: Houston evacuating was stupid
marcus: It barreled right through the Beaumont/Pt. Arthur area
me: louisianans not evacuating was stupid, i think that's the reason
marcus: Well, louisiana is stupid in general
me: *squeeze*
marcus: !!!
me: so are many texans
me: why so amazed at squeezing?
marcus: Es fun!
marcus: *squeeze*
me: it is
marcus: Well, in the evacuation policy sence, louisiana is stupid
marcus: Texas had all its shit together
me: ah, the evacuees making texas/houston overpopulated
marcus: They were loading busses full of people and loading the busses onto C-31s at the airport
me: wow!
me: i didn't know that
marcus: Yup
me: that's wild
marcus: That's awsome
me: that's turner classic movies
marcus: Better than letting a bus full of old people explode on a highway
me: uhm.....yep, it is
marcus: Yup
me: explode? were buses exploding?
marcus: One did outside of houston
me: ouch
me: how scary
marcus: Somthing about a leaky o2 tank and the heat
me: wow
marcus: Yup
me: *smooch*
me: *smooch*
me: I need to start running...
me: And change my diet
marcus: Drastically
me: go for it!
me: seriously, do it
marcus: I have no will power
marcus: Or idea how to accomplish such feats
me: seems like you're always talking about how you've just gotten back from eating unhealthy stuff
me: you would probably feel a lot better/healthier
marcus: *cough*
me: hehe
me: *hug*
marcus: I've at least stopped eating in the dead of night
me: that's good, that's a start
marcus: *lays head on your lap*
me: do you think it has helped?
me: *runs fingers through your hair*
marcus: I would think so yeah
me: *kiss*
marcus: *kiss neck*
me: *kicks off shoes*
marcus: Meh, I'm already down to boxers and in bed :-P
me: hehe!
me: i'm not even wearing shoes, it just sounded good
marcus: lol
me: i'm in a shirt and wind shorts, very fun
me: an old band shirt, wow am i cool
marcus: No bra or panties?
me: panties yes
marcus: I have all four of my band shirts
me: me too
me: plus some bass clarinet section shirts
me: we had a lot of pride in our little b. clar section
me: bass clarinets have more fiber than ordinary ones
marcus: Riverdance, the sound of the 60s, You're a good man Charlie Brown, and Cirque du Soleil: La Nouba
me: i think it's awesome you did a cirque show
marcus: I do too
marcus: It was so much fun too!
me: i've seen three of those--quidam, dralion, and another that i can't remember the name of
marcus: Was it Varekai when it went to Houston 2 years ago?
marcus: That's one I saw
me: varekai, yeah
me: that was it!
me: with my mom
me: i can't remember if we've had this conversation yet or not
me: ooh, maybe we were there on the same day
me: haha
marcus: Vaguely familliar
marcus: lol, that'd be a trip
marcus: Aaaaaaand my nipples are all hard...
me: especially if we were sitting like a couple of seats away or something
marcus: Well, sweetheart, I'm about to lose consiousness
me: oops :-)
me: you're turning into a woman!
marcus: *feels around*
me: nipples de homme don't get hard, do they?
marcus: Nope, no chance of that anytime soon
marcus: Yeah they do
me: really?!
me: i didn't know
marcus: All the time
marcus: Its not the on-
marcus: Bah, too easy
me: just for fun or when the dude is excited about....ahem
me: y'know
marcus: The same rules apply to guys nipples as girls
me: wow, i've really learned something today
me: i did not know that
marcus: Its cold, excited, been playing with them, etc
me: *smooch*
marcus: *deep kiss*
marcus: I'm about to go to sleep
me: *swirls tongue around*
me: okay mister
marcus: *rubs breast*
me: mmm
marcus: I'll call you tomarrow
me: okie doke
me: mwah!
marcus: Nighty night, lovely
marcus: *pinches nipple lightly*
me: *gasp*
me: goodnight, mister
marcus: Good gasp or bad gasp?
me: good, of course!
marcus: Yay!
me: yay indeed
marcus: Goodnight
me: night
marcus is away at 4:21:42 AM.

After we went to the Alamo drafthouse for to see “The Last Kiss”:

me: hey!
me: that was fun
marcus: Yup
me: did i just hear eyes rolling? haha
marcus: No, but I am watching Desprate Housewives
me: my mom loves that show!
me: the night before your test?!
me: for shame
marcus: Pff
me: eh, sounds familiar
me: *hug*
marcus: Yay!
me: hehe
me: i can't wait for this insane week to be over
marcus: What's insane about it?
me: it hasn't even started and it's already stressful, lol
me: just a lot of stuff to do--a couple of papers, two tests, a project and several readings
me: and then quitting the travesty
marcus: Ah, hah
me: at least my life isn't boring, i have something to journal about
me: well, it's not boring to me, anyway
me: hah? HAH?!?!?!?! he jests at those that never felt a wound!
me: just kidding, of course
me: no, scars--not those
me: i'm messing up the shakespeare
me: shakespeare shakes beer
marcus: Yar
me: you're so talkative tonight :-P *snuggle*
me: lookee there, a bit of sarcasm, an emoticon AND an action all rolled into one line
me: i'm so efficient
marcus: Woot woot
me: hm
me: well, i should go read
marcus: Okie dokie
me: *hug*
marcus: *hug*

1:24 pm - sunday, sept. 24, 2006


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