backyard crowing


God is a She

it means doing the right thing for another person could hurt you as a result.

so in refusing to lie for abby, i am doing the right thing for warren, and this action might hurt me as a result, even though i would be doing nothing wrong. i would be standing up for myself and protecting him, even if i don't know him. and that's what counts.


-find out if i'm in psychology still
-find out the date that psych was dropped, if it was dropped
-call insurance company

-find out if i can incomplete theories of mass communication

God does not give me anything I can't handle. This means I can handle a wide array of obstacles, because I am surrounded by them. This means I am a strong, tough woman. This means I am a woman to be reckoned with. This means I will come the deepest of depths and I will rise above. This means not a turn back of the clock, but an acknowledgement of the past and a fierce rocket into the future, into another being, time, and place. This means war. Between man and himself, it is go time, battle time, and the field though rough with armies will be destroyed. I will shoot the devil in me, because God, she is in me, and I will let her overcome, make her overcome, let the devil free, and force him out of my body and out of my mind.

God, she has faith in me. God, she knows that I can do great things. God, she knows that I can overcome this. God, she is putting me here because she loves me and she wants the best for me, and she knows I am a smart, capable, beautiful, caring, sharp woman. God, she knows I can live this through, no matter the struggle. God, she wants me to live big, to live well, to not just settle for mediocre, to go above and beyond. God, she wants me to be the best I can, to not slack off, to genuinely care about my life and every minute in it. God, she is a she.


And God will not let me be.

i cried for an hour and a half last night.

- friday, dec. 5, 2008


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