backyard crowing
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'you're gonna die soon!' - sarah silverman
i hate my dad, i do.
he's such an asshole i hope he dies soon.
today i had my cell phone right next to my ear and i was waiting for him to come drop off the couch for the living room. he came and called four times, and then i vaguely heard the sound of ringing in my ears. i still kind of hear it, imagine that.
he goes 'do you have a drug problem?' and i said, 'no.' and he says, 'well, you have a sleep problem and you need to fix it,' like he doesn't. just because he's doing so-so with his sleeping doesn't mean he's now the king and can judge the rest of humanity on it. he's a complete idiot, i can't wait until he's out of my life for good.
i really, really, hate the fucking bastard.
he thinks i'm going to join him tonight and spend the weekend, yeah, right. i can figure out how to put this piece of shit together on my own, asshole. and if not, then it'll be broken because of you, only i won't care because it's just a fucking couch, we could drop the mattress part on the floor and it would be fine.
i hope he never calls or e-mails for the rest of the day. apparently he still thinks we're meeting. i have no desire whatsoever to be around the self-righteous idiot ever again.
Right now I just want to eat a thousand pizzas and throw up a thousand throw ups and injest all the heroin in the world so I can be dead, so I can have a problem. My drug is apathy in one form or another, or maybe a little my long lost loves, and he�s not going to get that.
The pills are there. The vodka is there. They�d do it, but then it would be his doing.
The funny part is that he thinks it�s drugs. He thinks it�s partying. He thinks it�s sex, anything but �she was sick of life so she played a video for twelve hours straight and never went to bed.�
And he looked into my eyes today again to see if they were to dilated or contracted, he�s hilarious. It offends me, only it makes me laugh. I�m better for this absurd experience, at least I�ve been asked the same question as a junkie in the same way. And a little of the guilt is in my eyes, because yes, I tried weed last week, but it shouldn�t be there, because I don�t feel guilty about it. The problem with guilt is that even if you don�t have it, it shows up in your face. So yes, I am in favor of legalizing pot now, because I am in favor of smoking it myself.
Blogger mme. Sunday, though I loved her, is turning into a mommy blogger. I�ll still read her of course, but it�s not the same�
There is no way I�m calling nat today to see if we�re still going apartment hunting. I would rather die. Then again I feel like if I don�t I�m letting her down�oh well, if she really wants to, she�ll call.
Okay, so I just looked at my call log. He called at 1:11 pm, and then again at 1:15 pm, which is when we said we�d meet. Then at 1:15 pm, I called him back, because I heard the ringing in my ears.
Conclusion:
-he called me two times
-he waited a whopping FOUR minutes for me to respond
-he IS going to get his deposit back for renting the truck, that will still be free
-he is an ass, just as I suspected
Yep, there�s no way I�m going to his house tonight. I�m going to avoid him like hell itself, although I�m sure some would say I welcome hell.
There, now I can sleep. At least now I know that there�s some justice in the world, I�m heard.
- saturday, feb. 21, 2009
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