backyard crowing


horoscope and boudoir photos

If you look at your horoscope online at 2 am, it should simply say, "Go to bed, come back to this tomorrow," regardless of your star sign.

I am going to come back tomorrow and do this audio project, once and for all. I think. I keep putting this damn thing off. It was due nearly two weeks ago. I need to get this show on the road.


In other news, my therapist doesn't want to see me anymore because she can't fit me into her schedule...super lame! We only get 6 sessions anyway! I couldn't make it to one because I overslept, and then I cancelled on another because I knew I wouldn't have time. So I got 4 sessions.

At our last session, I raged about my incompetent TA, and later I looked the counselor up in the student database -- turns out she's also a TA, for some social work class. Perhaps I turned her off. Apparently the heat of therapy was too hot to handle, so she got out of the kitchen.

Sure, my schedule is busy, but I'll bet she could have at least met me outside somewhere, on a park bench or something. I offered to do that, and elementary schools do counseling in libraries, with other people walking around. I was willing to try.


On another note, lately I'm considering boudoir photography, which if you've never heard of it, is when a woman (often engaged) pays for a risquee photoshoot and gives her guy an album afterward. It's basically porn, or artsy nudes, of yourself. You can generally do whatever you find sexy.

I'm really torn on this one, but leaning towards not doing it. Aside from being expensive, I don't want R objectifying any woman's body, nor mine.

Some of these photos don't include the women's faces, which I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. When you take a photo of a woman and not her face, that's definitely objectification.

On the other hand, some women find it very empowering. I wouldn't mind having some sexy photos of myself, if nothing else to make me feel better. I remember in high school getting my graduation pictures taken, and just going all out. It was so much fun...just me and the photographer, and my favorite clothes. I looked happy, too.

Some women cry when they do these photos, because they see a side of themselves they haven't really looked at before. They find themselves less beautiful than they really are. I can imagine myself crying at the end of a shoot, I've done that during two different hair cuts.

When my dad says, "hey, beautiful" as a hello on the phone, it takes me a minute to absorb what he's said. I don't hear it enough. And the other day, I told R I needed to. He was immediately all about calling me beautiful, pretty, all that stuff. It was sweet. I hope it lasts awhile, I hope it's not over already. I don't want to need to remind him all the time. I want it to be genuine.

I get to see him tomorrow. La dee da. :)


Day after tomorrow is a shoot with a grad student, I'll be doing audio. The script is hilarious, and the weekend will be...long, it seems. Glad I have help.

I wish they would come out with the call sheet (i.e. schedule) already. Getting pretty fucking frustrated. More frustrated since I found out the reason: apparently they think if they tell you the schedule plenty of time beforehand, you'll free up your WHOLE WEEKEND for them, and won't flake out on them. Personally, I think this is a blatant disrespect of our time. If I'm going to help with a shoot, I'll be there, but I want to know when.

And I understand shoots go long -- they always do. But directors need to have at least have some idea, and a set start time. Without that, how do I plan my sleep schedule?


Gotta go, diary dearies. Sleep tight.

1:58 am - Friday, Mar. 27, 2015


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