backyard crowing



Tonight I looked in the mirror and thought,

"I can do something with this. And I will."


My screenwriting partner S (female) says I look and talk like Greta Gerwig in Frances Ha - and not that I act like her.

A long time ago, I briefly dated a guy in the film biz who knew Noah Baumbach. According to him, part of the reason Noah split from Jennifer Jason Leigh was because of an affair with Greta Gerwig, who he met on the set of Greenberg in 2010.

None of the websites I searched explicitly say that, but a couple of them hint at the rumor.

So although I like Gerwig and Baumbach's work, I can't get past not liking them as people. When I see Greta's face, I think of her as a 27-year-old, chasing after hollywood, and stealing away a man 13 years her senior whose older wife was pregnant.

And as I look through the articles about the Baumbach-Gerwig pairing, I cringe, because they're all so flattering.


On another note, R and I talked last night about the feelings of jealousy. We were able to work it out, I think, and he let me know what the guild was up to. He's known these gamers and played with them for years. One of them is Ava, and another is Hector, and although Ava is married, she's leaving her rich husband in Utah for this Hector guy. So I told him, "See, that's exactly why I get jealous about these things, because it really happens."

He says he's not on the site looking for love, and he knows it's fantasy, and doesn't know how Hector and Ava would work it out anyway. (By the way, names are changed to protect the guilty.)

So the whole "I'll emotionally cheat on him" post is mostly abandoned. Even so, there's still a gap that he doesn't know exists, emotionally.

After we talked, he switched to another game, which shows he's being sensitive about the issue. That does make me feel better. It was a game without Teamspeak, a one-player game. And I know he's not throwing away the team game, and I didn't ask him to or anything, but I think we're fine now. Glad we talked, as awkward as it can be.


Now, for the fun part: the awesome sex later that night.

Due to my screenwriting partner saying I looked like Greta Gerwig, of course I had increased confidence, and I decided to just...pretend I was her in bed.

I kept thinking, "How would Greta fuck?" And then I did. It was sultry and delicious. The hardest come I've probably ever had in years. All that, and all it took was a compliment. If only men knew!

I seriously need to pretend I'm someone else in bed every time. It just works. I remember when I first got into improv, I realized I'd probably become more adventurous in bed. Because on stage, you can be anyone you want, and it's absolutely freeing. It may not be sex, but there's a certain similarity. So once you experience that flexibility of personhood onstage, you want to try it in the bedroom. Sigh. Who to become next time?! Maybe more of the same.

12:53 am - Thursday, Dec. 10, 2015


lovesounds - futuresex


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