backyard crowing



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tortilla soup and suicide

In December, a fellow member of the depression support group I'm in on FB sent me a message asking if I'd want to grab lunch and talk about how we could support each other in the new year.

I didn't know if he meant the group in general, or specifically he and I, but I assumed the group -- since I don't post on the group page super often.

And I was correct, which is a relief.

"Tom" and I went to a healthy mexican restaurant I'd never been to, and he talked most of the time -- about improv, stand up comedy, and his recent trip to NYC.

He said that his friend committed suicide a few years ago, inside of his therapist's office. And unfortunately, he had the same therapist as his friend.

So he lost his therapist, and had to go find a new one - right in this time of trauma.

He explained how he and the therapist tried to make it work, but when he would mention the dead friend, she would be triggered, and not able to be removed enough from the situation to really help him.

The death was a major event in his life, and he now reaches out to the people in our group to have lunch with them individually. The group has never had a physical, in person meeting, and he doesn't want us to feel like a bunch of lonely people in front of keyboards. He wants us to know we matter, and that people really do care. He doesn't want to lose another of his friends to suicide.

The group is about 80 people strong.

It's bizarre how his turns of phrase and general mannerisms are much like my dad's. I imagine if my dad were into psychology and comedy, this is the guy he'd be.

6:31 pm - Sunday, Jan. 08, 2017
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