backyard crowing


prioritizing myself, because I desperately need to

"I'm not in love with Iago, I'm in love with my vibrator."

- me, after giving myself 3 orgasms in a row with the vibe

He hasn't given me even one. (Unless you count me thinking about him while getting off.)


Yesterday I went to Ikea and threw down the gauntlet -- bought the mattress.

I'm SO glad I did. My life feels more stable now, more real.

The Uber driver who took me home said it was all coming, it would all come to me. The car, the furniture, the job.

He said that a bed is more important than a car, because without a good night's sleep, you can't function properly, you can't operate well in the world. That I can absolutely agree on. I love that driver so much for validating me, and my purchase.

Iago has told me to hold off on furniture and such so I can get a car, but I need to settle in. I need to get settled.

I need to focus on me for a bit. With the holy days done, I greatly need a break. Of time, and of itemry. This was much needed.

My only worries about money are many:

- it's still just a temp job
- I still don't have a car or a second job
- I have 2 forced 3 day weekends coming up because of Sukkot
- I am going to Missouri for three days (fuck my life)
- R wants me to visit him in late October (I just need to say no, that's all there is to it, he can come see me if he wants)

11:45 am - Monday, Sept. 24, 2018


lovesounds - futuresex


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