backyard crowing


it makes sense, now

I'm realizing why being friends with Cody has always rubbed me the wrong way.

It's because Cody is friends with Iago, and Iago raped me. And I told Cody, a couple years after the fact.

And yet Cody is still friends with the guy.

It all makes sense now why I never totally felt right around Cody.

I wonder if he even believes me.

I feel grateful for Gaby and Allison of Just Between Us. They did a video called "Can We Be Friends With A Friend's Ex," and Gaby describes a time when she dated a physically abusive partner, and her closest female friend didn't take sides, stayed neutral. Neutral during the relationship, and after it ended.

She had another friend who was a less close friend who, years after the abuse, did not invite this guy to their wedding. Gaby was invited, and her abusive ex was not.

When she asked the bride and groom why her ex wasn't invited, they told her it was because of the guy's abuse.

And then she realized why she was never quite okay with her closest friend continuing to be friends with the guy.


In other thoughts,

I don't want to become the woman who never got over her ex, and then to die that way.

And I don't want to commit any more time to him than he has already cost me.

He has cost me enough time already. It's time to move on.

It's somewhat scary, to move on alone.

3:22 pm - Monday, May. 16, 2022


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