backyard crowing


I wish things had been so very different

This has been a tough day. Getting too drunk on your birthday is not the vibe. That's enough drinking for me, for one week.

Missing R a lot.

It sounds like he thinks of me often as well, even though he wishes he didn't.

I've been crying mostly for the past couple hours.

Grieving, I wish it was shorter.

I have to go do some work for work.

When our relationship was dying, he at one point said, "I don't think you love me, I think you love the idea of me."

Which wasn't true. And it was very painful. It still is, to think about him saying that.

I've reached out to my therapist to ask her if she can help me reframe that incident in some way.

Maybe it will be as simple as, "he said something that was untrue."

10:04 am - Thursday, May. 26, 2022


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